I would ask my MOH to coffee and then ask her to pick some dates for the shower and the bachlorette party, this may be a good way of letting her know you would like one. Another way would be for your mom to call her and ask what her plans are for the party, and maybe see if your MOH needs some help with the planning process. When I was MOH for one of my friend's her mom called me and helped me plan the whole thing and even let me throw it at her house. It was really nice to have all the help.