it was very big of you to invite the ex gf to be a part of your wedding party. i don't know if i could have done it. but since she is in the wedding, it seems like she should also be invited to the bachelorette party? maybe she will decide not to come, but at least you will have made the gesture. i personally don't think she needs to be invited to the bachelor party. she may be gay, but she is not a BOY! bachelor parties are for the boys.