Um ok so this happened to me first hand. I wasn't even technically invited to the bridal shower, but it was being hosted at my house. Go figure. I knew the bride from high school, but it was through a mutual friend (the one hosting the shower). I even went to Victoria's Secret and bought her a $58.00 set of lingerie. She doesn't have many friends and I even went to her bachelorette party that night! No thank-you note. Nothing. Figures. Anyway, I had wanted to go to the wedding, but I obviously didn't get invited. I understood the whole guest list limit thing, but most of your guests won't.

As brides, we understand there are limitations to the amount of people we can afford to feed. For those who have never planned a wedding, they feel neglected and hurt. So it's up to you if you want to risk it, but I think the safest bet would be to not invite her to either, or invite her to both. You could at least put her on an alternate guest list and can invite her after other people turn down your invitation.

Hope that helps!

Andrea