Pretty much ditto to everyone else said. Traditionally, it seems like the bride and groom didn't have much of a say in anything (hence the reason why the parents pay for everything I guess). The only way to get out of it is to pay for it yourself. If she is having the rehearsal dinner someplace because it's her favorite; that's pretty selfish. If she's having it someplace because that what she can afford comfortably, then that is different. The only other thing you can do is warm her up to the idea of having it your way. Tell her how she can make your day more special by doing this for you.

My MIL wanted us to have our wedding in Pennsylvania (this is where we all live now). I got some complaints from immediate family members on his side about how the wedding was in Cape May and they didn't want to drive. Cape May is where I grew up and where the parents of the bride live. When they saw I wouldn't budge on it, they gave up and really didn't have any desire to have a say in anything at all. I was told to pick a place and a menu and tell them the time and they'd show up with the check. While it was AWESOME to do whatever I wanted, it made me feel like my day wasn't as special to them as it could have been. I actually envy you a little