I have a very similar concern about FH's parents, so I can totally relate. we're going on a cruise and getting married on the beach at one of the stops on the cruise. we purposely planned it waaaay in advance (we got engaged July 07 and the cruise is Dec 08). now I never really did expect FH's parents to go on the cruise... but what really bothered me was that the moment we told them how we were doing it, FMIL's immediate response (before I could barely finish explaining!) was, "oh, I can't get off work." I was like um... it's like 16+ months away... not THIS Dec... but next (when I was telling her in like August or whatever). she was like, "yeah, but they don't let anyone take off days in Nov or Dec b/c of the holidays." (she works in retail). but like your situation, I mean she's worked there 9 yrs, it's OVER a year away (well, it was!) and she could at least try, you know? I know that FFIL could get off work, he's been at his job nearly 30 yrs and takes off whenever he feels like it. I know they could afford to go (plus there was plenty of time to plan/save money - the reason we planned it far out), and like I said I never really expected them to go... but I felt it was hurtful for her to say so quickly that she couldn't get off work, it sounded like an excuse. they don't really ask us any questions about our plans, and I can't help but think it hurts FH's feelings a bit, although he just tries to shrug it off. I feel like she could have at least said, "well, I'll try to get off" and then even LIE TO US and say that she tried and was denied... just at least have the appearance of making the effort, you know?

anyway, sorry to hijack your thread (I'm so bad about that!) but I just wanted to let you know there's someone dealing with similar feelings. I also haven't heard from them if they intend to help pay for anything... which is a whole other vent! but I do think it's completely normal for you (and especially your FH) to feel upset by him acting so nonchalant about the wedding events. like pp said, perhaps he has a deeper reason for not wanting to go... just as I thought perhaps my FIL's aren't comfortable with being on a cruise ship (weirdly enough I have a few friends like this) but still, at least ACT like you want to go and pretend you're trying to work it out. brides and grooms don't need their feelings hurt by family on top of all the other stresses of wedding planning!