i know how you feel right now!! im getting married may 31, and still have alot to cover! and like you said, no money!!
the candles and lighing sound amazing.i dont think its overdone.. i think all the candles and twinkle lights will set the mood for a romantic evening. im not sure if it will effect your pictures.. thats something you might want to talk to your photographer about. but, i dont think it should hurt them. they have really good cameras.lol.
as for the kids..you hope they know better.. but if not, its the parents responsibility.lol
good luck!