Well... I have to say.. Im kinda in the same boat...
Only a little diff. My MOH doesnt live near me, as a matter of fact, only one of my bridesmaids does. My MOH hasn;t said one thing to me about the wedding...except" How much will my dress cost". Its always about her,her and her. Its kinda sad..she is my MOH and I cant even be excited about the wedding with her...but I have known her the longest, and I felt like we were the closest. I know its so tough, but I think once you ask someone to play a specific role in your wedding, ya probably shouldn't de-promote them... if you will.....AS MUCH AS I WANT TO!!!!! I even told my hubby to be tonight, that I will ask one of my bridesmaids to do a toast as opposed to my MOH.
So, to answer your question..in my opinion...I would keep things how they are, but take your other bridesmaid to do the fun wedding stuff with you. You want to have good memories, and dont want someone to take the wind out of your sail....Good Luck.. hope I helped a little!!
Rachel