Thanks for your little posts...

And here are some news and explanation...

Regarding my family in law, to answer Jessica : they pretty all live in the US, but they keep talking in Italian, and they have lots of friends and family still in Italy.
Actually my fiance moved in the US not so long ago : he studied in Italy and so on for like 10 years (born in the US though) and came back to live in the US.
-> he was traveling with his parents and brothers and sisters each time.

They are very "close" to each other, I have nothing against this "family spirit" but it's far too much for me, and it keeps no door open for any hubby or wife to be !!!
I can't imagine when I'll have kids either : I would be very happy to have my FFIL talking to my kids in Italian, but as I understand nothing (I bought myself a method to learn Italian, but gosh it's a nightmare), I fear they try to take them away from me.. Anyway I'm not here yet.

I finally found out that my FMIL printed it out her own invitations to our wedding in a purple-blue color (my theme is orange and white... no comment), and my husband told her not too when we found out but she did what she wanted to do.

Best part is that yesterday, I had my final trial for my wedding dress and I found out that my FMIL came on Saturday, with one of her daughters, asked the boutique to show them the dress I was going to wear, saying : we are the family in law and we are paying for a part of the dress and we want to see what we are paying for !!
Now that is absolutely FALSE. I'm paying for my dress.
They didn't know really what to do with my FMIL, and sensed she was going to get mad (and I tell you, a mad Italian woman is terrible) so they showed my dress.

I told my fiance last night.
He could not believe it.

Then he told me : it's my Mom, I love her, do not ask me to choose between the both of you (I was not asking this, I was asking him to STOP HER INTERFERING BEHAVIOR), she is what she is but she can be really nice and caring, you'll get to know her better, blablablabla.
And he finally asked me to make an effort.

I told him that I had to think about this. That I was not seeing myself having to deal and shut up my mouth all my life with these kind of people.
I understand he doesn't want to get his mom upset. But he sees ME UPSET. But doesn't do a damn about it.
In a way I would hate to be in his shoes either. I would feel terrible if my father was getting him all upset...

I can't sleep anymore. I make nightmares.

I told him that I had to re-think all this wedding story. Because it feels so wrong...
He was in such a state when I told him that, telling me that his mom sent out the invitations, and that now if I cancel the wedding, she was going to feel ashame in front of her friends !!
And I said : well what about me ? What about us ? It's US. OUR wedding. I just do not give a damn about what his mom thinks. She didn't even care about one thing till now, and now she's so f*****g interfering and getting all...

And this story with the ex-girlfriend hurt me so much. I didn't even know he was still speaking to her from time to time. I know she's far and she's in Italy, but I hate that ! It's my right, no ?
And I do not understand WHY THE HELL my FMIL wants to invite her to our wedding !
She just want to give my fiance some doubts.

Sorry for my long answer. I still do not know what to do, but I need to take a decision in the next following 2 weeks. Because I need to be sure before confirming the photographer, the band etc, or I'll loose much more money..
I phoned up my Mom, and she didn't really help me either. She told me that I should have waited before planning this wedding and that meeting up someone on the net (we met on the net with my fiance), is no good.
She was against this relationship in the first place when I told her how we met.. She didn't trust him at all. After she got better. But she always told me that she found odd how young people meet up these days.
And true : I know none of his exs, I have no "reputation warnings" in my entourage, no nothing... Out of the blue...
One could have told me : take care, his family seems nice like that but they are a nightmare etc etc... Or : they use to love his ex, it's going to be difficult for you...

Anyway, hope all your preparations for your own weddings are going well.

Brit.