I agree that all the meals and sodas should be paid for and that the guests should pay for their own alcoholic drinks. We are in the very early stages of wedding planning but I know for my FH's uncle's wedding, all the women in their family made this wonderful meal and rented out a community center and all the family on both sides were invited. This definately isn't the norm, but it was really nice. Hopefully they will put something on for us like that