Hi April
Let me start off by saying how sorry I am for the loss of your baby. I can't imagine how difficult it is to go through something like that. A very close friend of mine just had her first child this past January....and then in February she found out her husband has been cheating off and on their entire relationship (8 years). And as if that wasn't enough, he's also been doing crack. I know this doesn't compare to losing a child, but take comfort in the fact that there are women out there, also dealing with heart breaking turmoil. My prayers are with you and your fiance'.
As for your wedding/party, I think a scavenger hunt would be cool. I'm not quite as crazy about the paintball fight, simply because that's something not everyone would be as enthusiastic about lol. Not everyone will love the idea of getting bruised at a party. And especially if you'll be having some elderly guests as well. Now a scavenger hunt, everyone could participate in. You can take it a step further and give it a theme too. Maybe have a pirate theme and send guests on a treasure hunt ~ can also make it a costume party too. If you're planning on having this party in the fall, maybe you could do some sort of autumn carnival. Have a popcorn machine, caramel apples, carnival type games, bobbing for apples, ect. For a summer bash, maybe you could do a pool party or a hawaiian party. If you're stuck indoors during the winter, maybe a murder mystery party. That may be a little harder to do with 125 guests. So, you could assign certain people to do the acting (kinda like the people that would have been in your wedding party) and then all the guests can sit back and enjoy the show.
I hope these ideas have helped. Let me know if there's anything else I can do and keep us posted!