My parents are divorced and my mom remarried an Italian when I was very little so I know what you mean they can be very loud and over bearing. Try to give her little projects so that she feels included like ordering or making Italian cookies to serve at the reception, or maybe ask her if there is some tradition that she would like included. Giving her little things that won’t really hurt your day will do two things 1. keep her happy and calm 2. get some things off of your plate.
good luck and remeber you will enjoy great food and a warm family forever, those Itlains really know how to make a holiday insane and fun day