I've never had a wedding before, nor have I ever planned one. But I think that most of the stuff is just "normal". I think you may need to turn into a "bridezilla" to get what you want done. This is YOUR wedding and it should go the way YOU want it to. As for the vendors not working with you, find new ones. I know that's not always easy, but if the ones you have aren't working with you, then they don't want your business very badly.