That's a toughie. I say whoever you AND your soon-to-be husband feel comfortable with--go for it. You DO NOT want your husband to be upset by using the friend he does not care much for (that's not fair). If you're both comfortable with your ex-husband doing it--go for it! Sounds like he's still very much in your life anyway and it will probably make your child feel comfortable, too, knowing her dad is still a part of your life as well. If you new husband can accept your ex-husband doing it---then he must be a good guy.