Hi,

You know this is your wedding! You are going to be the one living your life and not your sister-in-law. I say if you do not feel comfortable or even want her to be in an important position in your wedding party, then honor yourself and your decisions.

You will not be a happy bride or wife or mother someday, if you compromise your feelings about this or anything else you feel strongly about. I would ask her out to lunch and ask her if she would like to help you for the wedding. If she says yes, Make sure you have a list of things you would not mind her helping you with. Take the list out and read it off to her. like this " You know I am desprate for someone to help me with__________" Use the word "Desprate"People with her personality want to feel really important, and want to feel that they were a great help to someone. So by using the word "desprate" it would be a clincher.

The list will help you direct her role indirectly, the lunch is a bonding attempt, and giving her options on how she can help will make her feel you do want her invovlment, but the gold is for you stay in control of your wedding plans without ruffling up too many feathers.

Hope, this helps a little. I maybe totally wrong, but that's what I would do.

On my wedding day in Hawaii however, I told my sister-in-law to shut up, because this was my wedding, not hers, and that I could have my wedding on any planet I chose! She made a comment about why my husband and I wanted to travel so far away from home to get married! she said it in a dishonoring manner to me that I was not going to take it!

I set up the bounderies from day 1 and my sister-in- law and I are good friends, because she stays out of my business and I her's.Bounderies are important to set up.Sometimes, you have to flex your muscles and nip the problem in the bud! Anyway, that's a whole different topic!

Good Luck!