This will be my second marriage and my finace'sfirst. I had the big wedding the first time around and I really don't want to do it again, but this will be his first so he wants the big church wedding. Honestly I would rather go somewhere tropical and get married on the beach and just have our immediate family there. The main reason I don't want to have a big wedding is that I did already and all my extended family came and celebrated and even though I would want them to help celebrate this special occasion with us I feel uncomfortable to a certain degree. Am I crazy in feeling this way? Does anyone have any advice for me?

Thanks!

I am in the same situation. My second marriage, his first. I did the whole huge church wedding & larger than life reception the first time around. Luckily he does not want to do the traditional wedding so we are taking a cruise, getting off the ship in Key West, FL and going to the beach to get married. Just the two of us. When we get back on the ship to continue cruising, we will be honeymooning. Very simple and virtually stress free. We plan on having an informal gathering when we return in lieu of the usual reception. I feel odd about doing the traditional wedding all over again too so this really works for us.

This will be my second wedding and my betrotheds second wedding. We are having the whole big thing because his first wedding was a JP. I know my family will want to be there to share with me in this special celebration of our love....and they will come for the free food and drinks (we are irish..we drink...) I had a huge first wedding. I dont see any reason to feel weird about inviting people to your second wedding. Its the start of a new life and if they are apart of that life they will come and wish you well.

Winter

This is my second time and my soon to be's 1st also. But I never had a wedding before just a jp, so we're gonna have the church, but just a simple but nice reception. And I'm not gonna go get a big puffy fairy tale dress either, but I'm still gonna wear white. We're taking some things and down playing them to make it look simple and we both get the wedding we want. So maybe you can do this also.
And on feeling weird you shouldn't. You're family will want to surport you to this new begining. And like my gram told me "Honey you might have been married before but you didn't marry him" So see it's not like you and your ex are getting married again and having a big wedding. This is a start of a new life. And I'm sure you're family would love to celebrate that with you.

Not really in the same boat--this will be 2nd and his as well. But we are DRASTICALLY cutting costs and making our wedding a bit less of a "deal"---I did the "big" wedding the first time and then realized that was A LOT of MONEY that we COULD have used as a down payment on a house--now, older & WISER--here is what we decided to do---to cut down the cost and make it more "intimate":

1. NO WEDDING PARTY! Honestly, I didn't need the added stress and my friends don't need a $250 dress they will never wear again. I asked my sister & sister-in-law to be guest book & program attendant and buy whatever dresses they wanted (that would wear AGAIN) in my wedding colors. We have asked his brother to give us a toast--this way our close family is still included.
2. NO BIG, HUGE, WHITE FRILLY $850 DRESS! I'm having a friend make mine from a pattern--a simple crushed velvet dress.
3. We're only inviting family and very close friends.
Perhaps maybe something like this will be a "compromise" ...

This is my second wedding as well. I live in Georgia. We are having a wedding but no bridesmaids or groomsmen had enough the first time. We are only having about 30 guess very close friends and family. We are going on a cruise afterwards. We are not spending over 5000.00 that includes the ceremony, food, alcoholic bev, decorations,cake, dress and 7 day cruise. It's about us this time. Make it small and sweet

ok so my fiance and I have never been married before, but I still feel like giving advice. The way I see it, you may feel weird to have a big wedding again but if you want them there, then invite them! If they feel weird, they probably won't come. You'll know that the people who attend your wedding really want to be there and you'll have a blast.

Ever considered having a private ceremony somewhere nice - perhaps a destination. Then having an elaborate family and friends reception? A friend of mine's fh was married previously and had a very elaborate wedding. My friend did not want him to relive the whole thing so she and her fb went to Jamaica and wed. But before they left they threw a very large "Jack and Jill" party. This party was much like the reception where there was a large modern wedding cake. Dinner, dancing and the whole 9 however he was in a simple suit and she was in a beautiful red dress. She was very happy.

ditto!...I felt the same way. It was my 2nd wedding and hubby's 1st. My 1st was 400 guest, home church/local hall wedding/dinner/dance/reception. I worked on it right up to walking down the aisle...and my family worked til 3:00 a.m. cleaning up. I hate to admit I don't remember much of it...it was a blur. I absoulutely did not want that a 2nd time. Hubby was only adament that we have a church wedding...that was fine with me.
We had a destination wedding in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee. We had 46 guest, including attendants. My 4 children from my first marriage were all in the wedding. We had a gorgeous wedding and mini vacation for our guests. Everyone loved it. I have posted "our wedding story" at Todays Destination Weddings - Planning - Suggestions. Feel free to check it out. I have not gotten the pictures on the page yet, but they will be coming soon, so check back.
My first wedding was all about the social aspect of weddings...my 2nd wedding was about us starting our new life together with those closest to us.

Update: I have posted pictures of our wedding on my website on the "Our Wedding Story " page. Todays Destination Weddings - Planning - Suggestions