Hello, for my wedding i am having a band play my reception that is small and acoustic and very "chill" and that has already got my mother in law in a tizzy, and then for my ceremony my fiance and I have 2 very close friends that are both excellent vocalists who offered to sing a song for us. We immediatly accepted their offer, but now my MIL is complaining and has even tried to manipulate them into feeling guilty and stepping down so that her daughter ( a 4 year old, that can not sing....at all) can write and sing us a song. We dont want that and we have explained that our decision is final but how do i make her understand that the music is our choice and not hers without complicating our post-wedding lives.

Oh good lord, I feel for ya honey. I actually like the idea of an acoustic band. My friend got married 10/06 and she had her friends play at her wedding. Just two guys singing and playing acoustic. It was very nice. Much better than some crap you hear at weddings lol. It is a tough situation though. I hear ya on not wanting to put your foot down so hard that it creates tension for the future. If I was in your shoes, next time my future MIL would bring it up, I would sit down with her and really try to calmly explaine myself. That it is in fact, my wedding - something that's supposed to only happen once, that I've been dreaming about it since I was a kid as most little girls do, and that I have very specific plans for it. Tell her you appreciate her suggestions and excitment for that big day, but as far as the music goes you and your FH have that finalized. And of course slip in that you'd appreciate it if she didn't try and change the band's mind behind your back. Ask her how she'd feel if someone was doing that to her on her big day. I hope this helps hun, I really do. I think every bride dreads this....the monster-in-law lol. Good luck.

oh i does, thank you so much...it seems so obvious that, just talking to her would be the solution. Haha....monster-in-law! you have no clue, im pretty sure mine is the worse.

My 2nd MIL is a dream...the sweetest lady you could ever meet...but...I'd take you 2 on with my first MIL....no not a monster...a true witch...to all her childrens spouses.

My 2nd MIL is a dream...the sweetest lady you could ever meet...but...I'd take you 2 on with my first MIL....no not a monster...a true witch...to all her childrens spouses.
Stick to your guns...its your wedding...your music.
Congratulations and best of luck!

Wow. Okay, it's YOUR day, hun. She's already had her day. Tell her that the band is already booked and that it would mean a lot for you to have your friends sing at your wedding. If it's really that big of a deal to her, why can't the 4 year old sing her song at the reception?