Well I'm not really sure where to start. I'm not only new to this website but new to the engagement world in general. Not technically engaged but planning a wedding all the same, which is not at all how I planned it. I wanted it to be a complete surprise. Unfortunately, my father's health has taken a turn for the worse and my family is trying to do a hundred things at once. On top of that my SO and I are separated by oh, 3,000 miles, give or take a few yards. I'm going to see him at the end of the month for about four days and in those four days is when I'll get my ring. I don't know which day, so there's my surprise.

To make things even better, the wedding is going to be where he is (unless he can convince me to elope to Vegas which is sounding better and better) AND my parents really don't care for him. Also, I just graduated but have two classes to finish before they'll give me my degree. One I can do online, the other I'm pretty sure I have to do on campus here in California, most likely after we're married, since it's only offered in the spring. If it was up to me, I'd push back the wedding. I've always wanted a long engagement to begin with but I already have to get married without one really close family member and I refuse to get married without my father. I've begun to stress a little, especially since we haven't set a date in stone. Any advice? Please?

Ok first breathe... School can wait and that is just not something you need to think about because the class is not offered till the spring so wait until at least October to worry about that.

2nd Eloping may be a good idea if you have a short amount of time to do this in; I know from your other thread that you are concerned that not all for your friends can make it so eloping in Vegas would make it super easy for them to come. I understanding wanting a church wedding too so don’t stress about who can or cannot show because even if you throw it in their back yard people sometimes just can’t make it.

3rd try talking to your family when you go up there and see why they don’t like him and try to put them at peace with your decision. Sometimes we just tend to complain about our honeys instead of brag about them so it may just be a simple fix of telling them why he is the one for you. Oh and it always helps a dad to hear that your FH takes care of you and can provide for you when you leave your father’s home. (Even if you left his home 20 years ago he is still your go to guy until you get a FH)

4th You, your FH, and both families should pick a date like now. What about if when you go to MI to see him after he pops the question (maybe the next night so you can enjoy your engagement for one night alone) you can go out to eat with everyone to celebrate and pick the date then and there.

5th you’ll be fine we are here to help
Jessica

Well FH and I have been engaged in conversation. We're definitely not eloping that would hurt our parents too much. We have, however, narrowed it down to two dates (as of right now): December 29 and February 13. It's kind of up to us, and everyone else will do what we want.

At least that decision is moving forward. On the other hand, i'm still dreading talking to my family. It's not so much a matter of being complaining but rather them knowing exactly what he did and me being heart broken for three years. I'm the only girl and the youngest and they really can't forgive him. I have a feeling my dad is going to be really disappointed, which is so hard because I love my FH so very much. *sigh* Well at least his family is excited.

Hopefully your family will come around try explaining why you forgave him but, it will be tough because I know if someone hurt my baby sister I wouldn’t want to forgive. Family is funny but we usually come around if it is what is best for you. The fact that your friends can’t be there is awful but I am sure they will still wish you well. I am also glad you guys are talking about a date that makes everything move along. Soon it will be time to go dress shopping And Black and White themes are so fantastically sophisticated it should be beautiful and I think easier to plan because you will have more choices at your finger tips, everything comes in black and white.
Keep your chin up and everything will be great!!!!