Here's my problem. We set our date and was keeping it a secret, only my family his mom and my moh knew. We were gonna annouce it at his family reniune in August our plans. Well then his sister who is with her guy for one month annouced a couple months they were getting married next year and on the date we picked. So with her being the way she is we decided to move it to 2009. We didn't want any problems. Well then we were like oh well and since I was already planning it we just decided to let everyone know. Well guess what we got she said we copied her, and threw a fit!! {one we've been together for like 5 years} and have 2 kids. But any way my mil and I were talking about my wedding and she walked in the house and asked what we were talking about so I said my wedding well she then went off again. Then the one day trying to be nice I asked her if she picked her dress yet and you know what she told me "I'm not telling you or you'll copy that too." Well this really upset me and she upsets me alot might I add. And she's very rude to me, just this past weekend we were at her fh birthday party and she actually said to me "Whyed you come" And then told her mom since I was there I could be the one to do everything, and she'll just sit and relax. I've put up with her for 5 years now, and I really can't take it any more, and I try to tell my fh and he just says oh that's how she is just ignore it. But his mom told me that his sister is actually thinking of not even inviting me to her wedding!! Because I'm a nobody. Well this is now a family fight, because his dad said if I don't come then he doesn't walk her down the asile.{see he's only her step dad} So now I feel just awful. And I'm sorry this is so long but I need to vent and nobody seems to understand. And I thought maybe some of you could give me insight. Since we all have to deal with our future in-laws.

OH BOY!!! I can't even begin to offer you much advice but I just wanted you to know that i'm so sorry that you are in this situation. The only thing I can think of is to maybe pull her aside (and maybe one person that can back you up or just be your witness; preferably someone who sees your side and someone that she will listen to...I wonder if she acts like this because she feels she is loosing her brother...), sit her down and just tell her how you feel without making it seem like you are attacking her. Like it or not, you guys are going to be family. And if after that, she doesn't knock it off, then take your fiancé’s advice and just ignore her. That will be hard but you will just have to hold your head high and take pride in being the bigger person.

PB

Wow, that is a really hard one. You're so right, on one side you want to be diplomatic but on the other she is being a bit of a cow isn't she. I agree with pretty bride about talking with her. Maybe ask your fmil to be with you when you do it, or see if she will talk to her about it because you certainly don't want to start out your life with the family in a fight. My best friends little sister acts like this all the time, if it's not directly about her she is rude, condesending and downright ignorant about things, but we've found that talking with her helps. It's a different situation but maybe she would listen.

Are you still getting married on the date planned?

She is handling it very wrong, but maybe if you talk to her you might find out that she really did think you were trying to take over her day and her special moment. That may be why she's acting like that. Like pretty bride said, she may feel like she's losing her brother and maybe she's starting to feel like she rushed into her engagement and is taking it out on you... There could be a ton of reasons and I could go on forever but I would suggest talking to her, but not alone, make sure there is a witness there!

Good luck!