Somebody please tell me that I am overreacting. My fiancee and I are having a huge problem and I'm not sure how to deal with it. So I'm reaching out for some advice and help. I met my fiancee 4 months ago and again we hit it off instantly. He was what I was looking for and vice versa. I have one problem though. He has an 8 month old son. He does a wonderful job of taking care of his son and making sure that he doesn't need anything. The problem is that he does the same thing for his sons mother. He drops everything and run to her because she says that its for the baby. We have talked about it before and we always get into an argument about it because he says that I am not being fair or that I don't understand. He bought a car earlier this week and the second day that he had the car she calls and tells him that something is wrong with her car and that they need to switch cars. Of course because of the baby he agrees and gives her the car. He told me about it and I instantly got upset because he caters to her. I wondered if it was because he stills have feelings for her and he says no that he still loves her because she is his sons mother but he is in love with me. Can anybody offer any solution to this problem?

that is a tough one, i would think that it is just becuase of the son, but i dont know how bad it really is. does she like call him all the time or is it just when she needs something, if it is just when she needs something, she is using him and he isnt realizing it. does he pay her child support and have court ordered time to see the baby? if not he needs to do that, so when she calls becuase she needs diapers then he can ask what she blew the child support on. i think that it is just still fresh to have a new baby. but how long has it been since they havent been a thing? was it just a one night thing and she got preg? or were they *together* for a while?? there is alot of things that you have to look into. and if you have only been together for 4 months, i would think about this alot. becuase you dont really know him yet. i have been with my fh for almost 4 years and still dont know him, and we have loved together for 2 year. so.... you know i would think about it.

I agree with Steph about taking time to really think about it. Mainly because she will ALWAYS be in your life and so will his son. And you will be a parent as well, are you ready to be a step mom? And he is always going to care for his babys mom. My parents got divoriced when I was 2 and they hated eachother but if my dad needed anything with regards to me my mom would drop everything to help. Good luck, this is a tough one.

I agree, you should take a step back and look at the situation. When did you get engaged, and when are you getting married? It takes at least a year to really get to know someone, sometimes longer. Not to get you down, but a friend of mine was in her late 30s, met a guy, dated, got engaged, and were going to be married but decided to get pregnant BEFORE the wedding. Since they were older, they didn't want to waste any time. She ended up catching him on internet dating sites constantly searching for women so she called off the wedding and now she's a single mom.

None of us obviously know him or the situation so it could be not a big deal or a really big one. You really need to think about this one.

I would say at least a year, we have been living together for over 3 years and we still find out new things about eachother all the time, its funny.

ditto to Megan again, we have been together 3 years and 7 months by the time we get married next month it is close to 4 years. we still dont know everything about each other! and yeah it is funny to find some of the stuff out when you think you know someone!

Hey you guys thanks for the suggestions. To answer some of the questions that you had. He has always taken care of the baby and there was never a need to go to court or anything like that. He gets the baby whenever he wants.. Thats one thing that I can say that they do agree on. Because I am on the outside looking in it does seem to me that she only calls him when she needs something. I have tried to explain to him how people work. He has it in his mind that she is not that type of person. But I can't seem to change his mind about it. But I know for a fact that this will all blow up in his face and when it does it going to leave him sick...Of course because I love him I will be there for him no matter what. Its funny the same day that I posted this we had a long talk about this and some other things. He says that he understands my feelings and he will take into consideration that once November 15, 2008 gets here we will no longer be two but one and that I have a say in somethings.