I am getting married next July. While I am very excited it seems as if the marriages of most of my friends are on the verge of divorce. I have always been that supportive friend and that constant confidant but lately it is getting to be too much. Along with the stress of planning a wedding and the late night tearful phone calls, I am getting drained. I have stopped answering the phone and am avoiding my future sister-in-law because no one seems to have anything positive to say about marriage. It's always 25 minutes of terrible husband talk with moments of "oh, but your marriage will be different" sprinkled in when I stop commenting. I know nothing is perfect. I'm a 34 year old bride and 34 is a little old to be naive about relationships. But c'mon! How can I get the full joy of being engaged when I feel guilty about talking about things my husband-to-be and I do or talk about with my love scorned friends? How can I be that syrupy sweet engaged woman when while I am looking for planning notebooks by best friend and matron of honor is in the same aisle of the bookstore looking in the divorce section and reading aloud from "The Idiot's Guide to Divorce"? On one recent girls' night, I really hadn't said much because everyone was talking (I'm the last one to get married) about how terrible their marriages were. My best friend looks at me and then states to them, "Hey guys, we've got a future bride here, and we haven't said one positive thing about marriage." Did it stop? Heck no! Yes, I've talked to them about it. Yes, they all understand what I am saying. However, their pain seems to supercede my need for peace at the moment. I'm not looking for advice. I just needed to state they are driving me absolutely crazy and I hate that I am letting them STEAL MY JOY! Thank you for listening.

I know how hard that can be and I'm sorry you can't feel the joy of being the bride to be. Don't let them steal your moments. Have you considered talking to them individually about how this is taking away from your moments? Isn't the happy planning all a part of the experience? I would try to talk to them individually about how you are there for them but in the same respect they need to be there for you as well. You are the shining star right now and it isn't fair that they are taking away the gleam of it all! Best of luck. You can always come here and gloat about all the new ideas and steps you are taking for your wedding. We are here to help get excited with you!!!