My fiance and I just began discussing the wedding party and he kind of threw me for a loop when he told me that of the 5 people he wanted to stand up with him, three of them were women.

Now, I've for sure seen several weddings where one of the bride's or groom's party was of the opposite gender, but I've never seen more than one, and definitely never seen three.

I understand my fiance's desire to have the people he feels closest to stand up with him at the alter, and I have long ago gotten used to the fact that he has more girlfriends than guyfriends.

However, I am having trouble with the number he wants. The fact that they outnumber the guys bothers me. Even just from a logistical view. That many women up on the alter... well, it's so lopsided. (I really don't have male equivalents to help even it out). Plus I'm not super fond of figuring out how to dress them all, or how they should all process down the aisle, etc.

Pictures of the groom's party are kind of bugging me too. The idea of loads of pictures of my guy laughing and smiling with three beautiful young women on our wedding day, no matter how much I am okay with their platonic relationship... well, it makes me cringe.

And finally, I *am* concerned about what people will think. With that many women, I'm afraid it will be just "too much". I don't want it to be awkward, and I don't want to feel like I have to defend it to more conservative members of my family, etc.

Obviously, he and I need to talk about it, but I'm trying to sort out my feelings on it first. What is "appropriate" today? It's so hard to tell. Do you think I'm being overly fearful about the reaction my friends and family might have? Do you think nobody will blink but me? Or are 9 girls and 2 guys up on the alter with the bride and groom as weird as I think it is?

Any advice? Helpful words? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

Wow readyset, that is a big curveball your FH threw at you. I agree with you completely that 1 would be okay, but 3 is a little overwhelming. I think if you have a conversative family, many of them will do more than blink about it. I would sit down and talk to your FH about it. I understand his want to him them be a part of your day, but maybe there is some other capasity they can help with. A good female friend of mine was just an usher at a friend's wedding. The pictures would bug me too. My FH has a lot of female friends too but I wouldn't want all of our wedding party pics to be of his and these girls either. It's a good idea to get your feelings figured out first before talking to your FH about it. Just be honest with him and hopefully he'll respect your feelings enough to make some changes. Best of luck!

Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it. I feel like I need to get out of my own head a little bit. You know?

I hear ya. My FH says I always overreact about stupid things, and I admit, sometimes I do, so I try to take a calm look at things before I bring them up with him. (but thi definately isn't a stupid thing to react over) Have you talked to your FH yet about this?

I talked with him about it last night, and he was very understanding. There's one woman he really wants to be able to stand up with him at the ceremony, but the other two, he's okay with thinking of other ways to incorporate them.

So at this point were trying to think of creative ways to do that. Adding them as bridesmaids is certainly an option, but we're trying to see if there are any other things that people usually do in this scenario.

You could have one in charge of the guest book (or a neat idea that I helped a frind with was to take pics of people together at each table, and they got to sign a scrapbook that the pictures were added to later) another idea is to have one of them help get bubbles, programs, etc.

You said that having them as BMs would be an option. Are you friends with any of these women at all? Maybe you could have one of them be your personal assistant and help you on your big day. I like the idea of having one of them do the guestbook, bubbles, programs, etc... Before the wedding, maybe you could have them help you with favors, invites, etc...