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| Guest lists Narrowing it down, how to uninvite children, requesting money instead of gifts. |
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My fiancee and I are trying to narrow our list down as much as possible but since a lot of people know us they all want to come to our wedding. What is the proper etiquette for inviting or not inviting co-workers. I would like to invite one at my job but if I invite one should I invite the other 15. Which means when they do get invited they have the option of bringing a date which will total 30-32 people. Help please!
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Invite the person you want ot invite at your work secretly.
Ask them for their home address and mail the invitation there, with a note or short letter explaining the situation. If you're close enough to this person, he/she should know not to speak to other co-workers about being invited. |
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I am in the same boat and I have to say, inviting someone "secretly" is not fair to you or the person you want to invite. You are not going to be able to please everyone. Feelings may get hurt, but in the long run "friends" will understand, especially if the cost falls on you and your fiance' alone. I am actually sending out cards to the people I wish I could invite but know I can't. I will tell them how much they mean to me and if I could invite the world, I would. Hopefully they will understand
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As far as the invite list goes, people's feelings are gonna get hurt. It sucks, and wouldn't we like to invite everyone we've ever met, but someone that only shares an interoffice relationship with you should understand not being invited. If they mention it, make a point of saying that you would have loved to have them there, but you had to keep the wedding small. Most people can understand that. We're inviting our co-workers, but we both work for small local businesses, so it isn't that bad. My Mom wanted to invite her co-workers as well, but I had to put my foot down. Honestly, if you feel that one person is more entitled to be invited than the rest, they've obviously done something to deserve that.
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I agree. It's such a tough situation...but you always have to make choices to keep your list manageable. We had have to cut out some aunts and uncles and extended family...as well as some friends. Your co-workers should understand. As long as you are kind of subtle, it may all work out.....
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