What is the 'rule' on kids? We're trying to narrow our guest list down, so currently only kids of immediate family are invited (cousins, neices, nephews, etc.), but...a lot of our close friends have kids and we see the kids all the time, so do we invite them? What about the family that I used to babysit for all the time? My parents just said to put the parents of the kids on the list...but the reason for inviting them would be to see the kids?

I know there is no 'rule' and that we can do whatever we want, I just want to be fair and not raise our guest list by hundreds.

If your guest list allows and you want the kids there, invite them. If you don't have room for the kids, leave their names off the invite. I believe most people understand that if their child's name is not on the invite, they aren't invited. You'll probably have people who bring unwanted kids as well but that's something you really can't control.
A lot of people actually might enjoy not bringing the kids because it becomes more of a hassle for them with children.

My thought is if you can afford to have all those guests, go for it, but be prepared for a few distractions off and on! It sounds to me like you adore children, so the distractions won't give you much trouble. And what fun for the kids!!

I questioned inviting kids too and then I remembered that some of the kids are my cousins. Not wanting the distraction I am still inviting them. So its up to you. If your buget allows kids and you really want them at the wedding invite them but I'm sure people will understand if you can't afford to have the kids there. Another opition would be having a small party before the wedding with all the kids and then let them know that they will not be able to come to the wedding to let their parents have a night out without them.

The down side to not allowing kids though is that some of the people you want won't beable to come, A friend of mine's brother got married and the invitation said NO kids, they went but were very hurt that the kids couldn't go. I think that the kids should be invited too, there will always be some kind of distraction. but the kids would be hurt if they couldn't go.

I am having a similar dillema. I have invited some people who I know will want to bring their kids, but I would really prefer a kid free reception. I think you have to set your own rule... like family only. I'm not including "and family" on the invitations and have mentioned to several people that the only kids I'm expecting are the flowergirl and the kids of our out-of-town groomsmen. I also figure if someone really wants to be part of my day, they will find a babysitter.

If you really need to trim the guest list down perhaps just having immediate family members' children invited. Although, perhaps your venue can offer a kids meal that is much cheaper than the adult per person cost and as well is more enjoyable for the kids. You might find your friends will opt for the getting a sitter anyways so they could have a night to themselves! Good luck I hope this helps!

My fiance and I decided that we would invite family kids, both of us are from HUGE families and didn't want to leave anyone out. The invitations clearly state on the inner envelope who is included. You won't believe the phone calls and emails we have gotten from friends. "Can we bring the kids?" Can our daughter bring her new boyfriend? (daughter wasn't invited) We are an older couple so finances are not quite a problem - the problem is our venue only holds so many people and friends bring their kids and new boyfriends and so on and so on - the fire marshall may have to shut the reception down. I have let it be known at work and with other friends that the problem is the small (250 capacity) place we are having the reception and everyone seems to think I am not talking about them and their families! What's a bride to do!?!?!?!?

Debby 6-16-07

When I sent out my save the date cards,I put our wedding website on the cards so people could see the progress we were making with the wedding. On the website, I put "A Special Message: Because of the limited space at Whispering Pines and our big extended families, we will only be inviting adults and children over the age of 12. Sorry!!". This gave everyone 9 months of notice that there children would not be invite if they were under 12. I also made all the children in our immediate family part of the wedding so people couldn't play the "well she/he is here" game.

I read the message but in my view it may offend them.

"A Special Message
Because of the limited space at Whispering Pines and our big extended families, we will only be inviting adults and children over the age of 12. Sorry!!"

However, it is better to be true and to the point to avoid later family issues for life.

Regards Suman

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