Ok, Today is my first day here but as I was reading through some of the posts I thought maybe someone might have some good advice for me. My Fiance & I are getting married in October. I really didn't want to do the whole wedding thing, I just wanted something very small, if not just going to a JP, but he insisted that we do it, so that is what we are doing and it seems like every time I turn around I am having some issue with his mother about the wedding. It started when we were looking at sites for the wedding, she didn't like any of the places, I finally picked a place by myself, booked it and said thats it. My biggest problem now is that we are ready to order invitations and we asked for her addresses and guest list months ago, we finally got them a couple of days ago and they are not complete. On top of that she wanted us to order extra invitations so that if anyone responded with regrets we could send out more invitations. The place we are getting married at has a max capacity of 300 & that is pushing it. When I told her that we could not send out extra invites she said well alot of people don't come to the earlier part of the wedding anyway maybe we can just tell some people to come later just to the dance (reception). I don't know what to do or how to tell her no. Not only do we have a max # we are limited too and she doesn't understand that but I don't want a wedding this big to begin with. Someone please help me!

Is the FMIL contributing to your wedding budget? If so, you guys will have to find a compromise. Otherwise, explain to her that you have a budget and you must stick to it but that "you will keep in mind her suggestions." Or, maybe your fiancé needs to speak to his mother privately.

Oh man, she sounds like my mom. She thinks we should invite ALL of her friends, family, and people she has met once walking down the street. The edge I have on her is that I'm paying for the wedding and she's not. So I remind her whose wedding it is and that she's not paying for it, and I do things my way. We were able to compromise anyway (she couldn't invite all of her friends, but we allowed her a bigger portion of guests to invite (my in-laws get 100, me and my fiance get 100, and she gets 150. It worked out nicely. If anything, find someone who can come to terms with her and remind her that the wedding is about you and your fiance, not her. Hopefully you can work something out.

Also, since the groom's family is in charge of the rehearsal dinner, you could compromise with her on that. Let her go all out with the dinner and invite whoever she wants, and you can control the wedding/reception.