Man, sounds like you are having mother-in-law issues.

I know I made it sound like my relationship with the in-laws was fine and dandy...but try this one on for size!!!

I was 18 when I met my fiance who at the time was 24. He had a 4 year old son and I obviously, was fresh out of high school. So...the son's mother is never around and I, shortly after us getting together, took him on as my own.

This Christmas season, 3 years after us beginning our relationship. his mom tells me that I have no right to make decisions for his son and that I have done nothing but make the son feel like he is a burden to me and our lives. Not that you all know the story...but that is NOT AT ALL TRUE!

So, now it's like fake get-along relationship...but honestly, i know she wants nothing but the worst for us and our future!

I have a fake relationship with my mother-in-law to be as well. I have decided that it is what it is ... she's never going to be satisfied with me. When we first got engaged, she would invite her son over for dinner and not me and talk about all of the ladies she had picured him marrying. She even went as far as to have this conversation with several guests at a party in which we all attended. I have decided that she is an evil, mean person, who herself is not happy with her own life so must ruin all happy moments for us! Her current kick right now is that one of the groomsmen is having a backyard BBQ for all of the wedding party and a few of the young people invited to the wedding. She called her son today hysterically crying about how betrayed she felt not getting invited to this event. She is crazy and has too much time on her hands!!!

I believe that the weddding rehearsal dinner is to be more of a quant affair, with the wedding party along with the parents of the bride and groom. It is a good time to get to know each others families a little in a smaller setting. The party is after the wedding. My son has also included the grandparents, but there is only one set of grandparents. The groom needs to talk with his parents and delicately explain their feelings.

My FMIL has something wrong with her ~ and I don't mean that in a funny way. My fiance' doesn't even really know what she has. When we first met, he told me she had "severe depression or something". But as our relationship progressed and I witnessed first hand how she is, I think it's a bit worse than just depression. I really don't know what it is. Last week we went to his parents' house and his mother just broke out into tears. I asked what was wrong and she just went on and on about our wedding. She said that she was very happy for us and she knows I'm good for her son and she wishes us all the best, but she doesn't know if she can cope. I asked what exactly she meant by that. I thought maybe she was just really sad about 'losing' her youngest son. But she went on to say that she doesn't know if she can cope with being around all those people. Apparently she has major issues with being around alot of people. I guess that's part of whatever she has. I tried to calm her down, telling her the wedding was still over a year away and she was getting herself all worked up for nothing. Though I'm sure it wasn't just nothing to her, and I understand that. I also tried to give her comfort in the fact that our wedding is going to be small ~ only 70 people and that's including myself, my fiance', the photographer, the DJ and his assistant. So, after that little situation the other day, I came to realize that she may not even be at the wedding. If she's freaking out this bad now, over a year away, then who knows what the hell is gonna happen when the actual wedding is here. I don't feel comfortable asking my FFIL. My fiance's family is pretty quiet and keeps to themselves. To me it's a bit odd, but they like, only talk to eachother on a need to know basis. Which unfortunately, is most likely why my fiance' is shy and not very confident in himself. I've been slowly trying to break him out of his shell and get him doing more things for himself. Which he has got a bit better since we've been together, but not quite where he needs to be as an adult. Don't get me wrong here, I like his parents ~ they raised him the right way, with good morals and a good heart. But I guess you could say that I'm kinda pissed at them for not being open with him and for not sitting down and talking with him just to talk. I told my fiance' that I do not want that to happen with our future childen. It's very important to me to have a good relationship with our kids. I want them to be able to ask/talk to us about anything and to not be affraid to come to us. I don't want our kids to be strangers to us ~ because that's exactly the kind of relationship my fiance' has with his parents and I can see what that has done. Sometimes I just sit and wonder ~ what the hell am I getting into? At times, it feels like I'm holding everything and everyone together. Trying to plan this wedding all by myself, being supportive of my fiance' and his family troubles, taking care of everything that needs to be done around the house on a daily basis....it's alot for one person. If I'm holding everyone together....then who's gonna prevent me from falling apart?

We're here to help you Mandy It definately sounds like his mom has some serious problems. Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder that makes people uncomoftable around large groups of people, if she is that freaked out already about being in that group, she could have that or someone similar to it. I am lucky that my FH has a very open relationship with his mom and dad. The only problem I am having my my FILs is that both his parents are remarried. My FH does not care for his stepmother at all. She has been nothing but nice to me and really wants to help with anything she can for the wedding, but he doensn't really care for that idea. And it's a little awkward for me to almost have to pick between his stepmom and his mom. His stepmom asked me this weekend if it was going to be weird to have two MILs. I guess it's only awkward becuase the two of them (mom and stepmom) don't really get along very well. It'll be interesting. Anyone else out there have this issue with two FMILs?

Two MILs ....oiye lol.
Just try and devided your attention between them as best as you can. Obviously show his mom a tad more attention than his stepmom. I would just try and explain to him that she (stepmom) has never done anything wrong to you personally and you don't think it's right to give her the cold shoulder just because he doesn't particularly like her ~ but that you do understand where he's coming from. That is a tough situation though. I kinda feel at times that I have to choose between my FH and his mom too. He's not as understanding as I am about her condition. He's has alot of hate against the situation because he had to grow up with it. I always try to see both sides in any situation. I tell him that I totally sympathize with him and his dad for having to deal with it all these years. It's not easy to grow up watching your mom act like that. But at the same time, I try to make him understand that his mother didn't ask for this either. When she acts out it's not because she wants to just for the hell of it ~ it's because she just cannot control it. But hey...what can ya do except to be supportive