My sister and I don't get along the greatest and at the moment we aren't speaking to each other. Whenever I try to talk to her, she is rude and makes me upset so I basically give up. I love her of course but we have never been friends. I was her maid of honor in her wedding (even though it was just at the court house). Shouldn't the maid of honor be someone close to me that I can count on? She lives 8 hours away so it would be hard for her to help out anyway. At one time I was acutally contemplating not inviting her to my wedding. I'm not really sure what to do. I don't want to make her mad but why should I continue to be nice to her if she never puts forth an effort?

Dont make someone your MOH just cuz she is your sis, it takes more then blood to be friends. Its your day!!!

I agree, I have 4 sisters all of which are halfs, i only grew up with one and she is the only one who is even going to be in my wedding, and she is my MOH but if your not close then i wouldn't have her be one, and even then depending on the relationship, it would be your decision to have her in it at all. But the choice is yours and she shouldn't make you feel obligated.

I agree also...just because she is blood related doesn't mean a thing! if you don't feel close to her don't ask her...you need to be around people who make you happy and relaxed on your wedding day and to help you have fun on the way to getting there!! don't add people who will stress you out...listen to me....i need to follow my OWN ADVICE haha geez..jk....good luck hun!

I have to agree, that saying blood is thicker then water is bull. My best friend is more my sister then anything. And I'm closer to her family then any one in my family, exceapt my mom of course. And if she lives so fay away she can't just drop everything and come to your aide if you're having a bride crises. Cuz no matter what you do something is bound to happen to make you go nuts and you'll need your moh to help you though. Cuz your soon to be is probably goona stare at you and be like what's the big deal. You should really ask someone your close to. It's your day.

And for not inviting her really think about it because My moh isn't inviting her soon to sil. her sil had a huge big wedding invited everybody and their brother and didn't invite her bother, or my friend. But the rest of the family was there. Then at the wedding she told everybody that she invited them but they were rude and never showed up. Well their dad knew this wasn't true and told everybody this and it actually turned out to ruin her day because then everybody said she was rude and a liar. So if you don't invite and people ask why just tell them your reasons. Don't lie. It might make it worse then actually having her there.

I agree, not having her in your wedding party is fine.
But also, unless you two are at each other's throats and you're worried about her completely ruining your wedding by just being there, I think you should at least invite her.
Regardless of the fact that you two may not be close- she is still your sister, and I think she should be invited.

Well, contrary to popular beliefs here, I did opt to have my sister as a co-matron of honor with another relative/ friend that I feel more close to, although a long term non-relative friend may have proved to be more helpful and respectful, it was a choice that I knew would save me headache and stress. I come from a close family that would not understand if I did not honor " my sister" with the position. They have no real understanding of sibling (sisters, even worse) discontent. We have never gotten along and despite the obstacles she may have thrown into the mix, ( including feeling the need to bad mouth my other girls in the WP) I am glad that I did honor my family's value on family. It has saved many other complications and I don;t have to feel any "catholic " guilt about not choosing my sis! ( my mom is an all star travel agent, she specializes in guilt trips! he he)

I knew she would never come through for me in certain circumstances and explained that she would be unable to help with certain things due to ther work schedule, distance between us, and many children, to my other two nearest and dearest and they understood and have picked up her "slack" At every turn, I am very appreciative and let these 2 special ladies in my life know how much it means they are there for me.

You may be able to share this honor and give her the "out" since being a long distance MOH can be difficult for her too. She may be relieved to have the help, or could even opt to be a bridesmaid to support you, without the main responsibilities of MOH. Providing a list of MOH responsibilities in advance is a good idea, too. This may help her to make a good choice? Good Luck. Whatever YOU choose to do, I wish you a beautiful and happy day!