I need some help. I have been friends with one of my bridesmaids for 10 years. But ever since I got engaged she has been saying things that hurt my feelings. Like, "I probably won't like your dress", "I should be getting married before you" among other things. Now, she keeps canceling with me to get her dress ordered. She has a lot going on with her life but am I wrong to want her to care about my wedding and stop stressing me out? What should I do???

I'm really finding that 2 of my high school friends are majorly slacking off on their maids duties too! It's really frustrating because I know that they're excited for me, but they just don't see the importance of helping me during this VERY stressful time. Plus neither of them is married or even engaged, so I'm sure they have no clue what to do. At first I was mad, but then I decided to just calm down and tell them each how much it was hurting my feelings that they wouldn't help with anything. Both of them surprisingly sounded like they had no idea they were hurting me and that they just weren't sure what to do to help. I felt a TON better about everything and was so relieved to find out that they were just clueless, not evil! So of course, I then gave them a to-do list and invited them to our apartment to help w/ a couple of things, and now I'm a happy bride-to-be again

My advice to you is to confront your friend about her behavior. But use words like "my feelings" and "me", don't attack her with "you and your" comments. Just let her know that it means the world to you to have a great friend like her there to help w/ your wedding and how nice it is when her comments are friendly and fun, not sour and nit-picky. Hopefully she'll open up about what's bothering her and she'll be able to be your nice friend again!

Just do what I did, change the girl!! I had a girl who was constantly standing me up. One time she left me waiting and didnt call me until 4 days later!!

She was always saying "oh I dont think I like those shoes" (meanwhile EVERYONE loved them and she seemed to be the only one that didnt) or "I hope I dont have to wear my hair up". I got sick and tired of her whining. Even after she had already fitted for the dress I found someone else to fit in it (like a glove I must add - No alterations needed).

It is the day of the Bride and no one else day. If you wanted her to go down the isle barefoot she has NO say in that cos that is what makes YOU happy.

So if youre not happy with your girl, change her. It was the best thing I did =)

My sister in law had the same problem about 1 month before her wedding and she got rid of the girl and found someone else who was more then willing to step in. Luckily this "replacement" had already worn the very same bridesmaid dress in a different wedding so it worked out perfectly. My SIL doesn't regret doing this at all.

I would tell her how you feel and if she doesn't change, change her. Maybe she doesn't want to a brides maid and doesn't have the heart to tell you and is playing games hoping you'll change your mind. Maybe she can't finiacially afford it and is embrassed to tell you. My one friend who is my bridesmaid doesn't work, and I asked her we've been best friends since birth, our moms were best friends but she was kinda like oh I don't know. Should you be planning now, and other remarks, then I talked to her and her husband has refused to help her pay for her dress, nails and everything else. And she lives nicer then me so that never crossed my mind but that was the problem. But we worked it out. She's still in my wedding but I'm buying her dress, and paying for her hair and make up and told her she has no finical responsiabltiy at all. But there could just be a problem and she's scared to tell you. SO I would talk to her first before making up your mind.