Hey girls,

I wanted to ask everyone how they are planning the big day? Are you guys getting help by your family/friends/wedding party? Not a single soul has even uttered a word to help me plan our May 9, 2008 wedding and it's been SO depressing. My mom has been living for this moment for a decade (I'm 33) and now that it's here she could not seem less interested. She doesn't have her dress yet, I picked out all the flowers, invites, my dress... EVERYTHING all by myself. What has been making me cry constantly at this point is I picked up my wedding gown on Saturday and all these girls were totally surrounded by their friends and family... taking pics... I was there all by myself... again. I did 150 invitations solo this weekend as well and it just SUCKS. I didn't think I would have to actually ask people and now I'm just so mad-- I don't want anyone's help. Fortunately I have an excellent, caring and understanding fiance who makes it all worth while. Are you girls getting help?

Andrea

i 100% know how you feel.. not only are we paying for all of it on our own, but im also planning all of it on my own. my mom only went to the dress shop after i said i found one and wanted her to see it.. but i did all the dress shopping on my own till that point. i always see alot of people around a bride in the store, and it does hurt a little.. but to be honest. i dont know if i would want alot of help. its my wedding and i want to plan what i want. so, my fiance and i are the ones planning and picking out invites and cake etc. it would have been nice tho to have my mom there just to be there and be excited. and your right, after a certain point, you dont want help.lol. whats the point, the hard stuff is done?lol.
dont worry, it will all be over soon.lol

Im so sorry that you have to feel that way.....
My parents are involoved is some of the decision making... but only with things like food, and where the ceremony will be....and that is because that is WHAT they are paying for. FH and I are paying for the rest...I do however know how you feel about the dress, I too was flying solo on that. I did grab one willing and excited girlfriend to go with me, so I wasnt allll by myself, but it does hurt to se other brides their with grandmothers and mothers.
Rachel

Thanks for the responses... not that I want company in being alone in all this I am doing my first fitting in 2 weeks and my great friend/BM is going with me. I wish I could toss my sisters on their butts but I'll just smile and pretend like all is fine. Thanks again!

Andrea

When I married the first time, I was 22 living at home and my mother and 2 sisters were heavily involved.

My 2nd wedding at age 41 was a bit different. My mother had passed away. My two sisters, my MOH and I picked out the patterns and material for the dresses. My sisters daughters were in the wedding, so we all got together one weekend and made them all. Other than that....My hubby and I did everything.

I tend to think the older you are...the less social the planning is. I don't think the lack of enthusiasm is intential, but as you get older friends tend to think you might be offended with too many suggestions. Ask a friend to go with you for an honest opinon...you might find they would be happy to.

No... It has nothing to do with my age by any means. This is my first (and only) wedding as well as for my parents so that has nothing to do with it...

Well i'm 20 and getting married but have absolutely zero help as well. My mom heard I found a dress I wanted but said it was too much and won't come help me look at dresses to find something in a better price range. She'll listen to ideas on the phone but I don't get a whole lot of input. My father isn't wanting to give us money for anything that he doesn't approve which means super cheap but also amazing quality .... yeah, I don't know what world he lives in where these things exist. But he also won't help me with anything. They are all happy about it but they won't help. My MOH has only taken me out twice to look at wedding dresses but liked all the ones I didn't lol and doesn't seem to into helping any more than she has. My other bridesmaids can't help a whole lot. One has been sick for awhile (as in, in the hospital for awhile) while the other is now unable to even be in the wedding since having to move. So hang in there! I hardley have any money to throw this together and zero help but I'm trying to make the best of it. If I can do it then you can too! Just try to think of unique ideas... they may be more inexpense than the "normal" wedding and you will have something that people will be sure to remember.

Thanks for your post... seems like some moms just aren't so into the planning part. On my end it's just bizarre bc she LIVES for this stuff. Oh well... as long as things work out as planned. My new issue is my MIL to be (who lives in France) is now crying bc I FINALLY but my foot down to her adding 25 unknown guests to the wedding at our expense so she can show off. Sigh. Don't people get it's only about the bride and groom?

Hope all goes well!
Andrea

Hi there, I'm just stepping in the conversation.

Me too I was pretty much by myself to choose my dress, my menu, my invitation template etc.
My parents just told me they would pay for nothing. Same for my family in law but for other financial reasons. Anyway, my fiance did help me quite a bit... But I would say that things are getting tense closer to the dates.

Because of the non implication of our family, and because one wants to invite 20 people at OUR expense (my mother in law too), my fiance and I are a little fighting.
It's always HIS family over mine, they can do pretty much what they want to, and he doesn't speak up when they do these kind of thing...

For example, we have a white and orange theme for our wedding, we are now 2 months and a half from it, the invitations are sent out (with the white and orange theme), and my MIL phones up my fiance to get 20 more invitations for her friends that I do not know at all (neither my fiance) and to say that the invitation looks "terrible and what an awful color orange, yuck yuck yuck, can you print some invitations but in green for me ??"...

OMG... I was so p****d. Anyway, my fiance came to me and tried to negotiate with me to change the orange color (that we had chosen together), just to please his mother, that I have only met once !

Things have been more or less solved, and the orange color remains... But now I feel my fiance less closer to me, and when I want to talk to him, he doesn't want to....

The problem is that his family is Italian, and when they talk, I can't understand a word... And it drives me a little crazy and I get a little paranoid .. Or is it the wedding stress ???


Anyway girls, hope all gets well with your weddings :-)

Brit.

Hey Brit... when is your wedding date? We must be close because I'm 2.5 months out too I'm getting married May 9th. I think it's so insane that your future MIL wants to change your invitation colors. That's just rude and crazy! I would totally stick my ground with that... it is YOUR wedding after all. Oh and my future MIL is from Italy as well... maybe they are sisters with the stuff they are trying to pull.

We stood our ground after her ruining our weekend, me hysterically crying for 4 days straight and nearly canceling our big weekend to just elope... and we won so there is hope. Hang in there and think big picture Good luck !

Andrea