My future mother-in-law wants to controll everything since he told her we were engaged she thinks we should have everything the way she wants us to have we never really talk to each other so should I look at this as a way of building a relationship with her or should I just tell her to back off.

I'd ask your DF to step in and try to say something to her nicely, like "we appreciate all of your suggestions, but we're going to make a lot of the decisions ourselves. We'll share everything with you as we go along, but we'd appreciate you letting us plan our wedding." It's his mom, he's got to make the initial contact. Then if things still don't improve, I'd say something to her. The last thing you want is to have horrible memories of planning your wedding all because of her! But do keep in mind that how you and her get along during this time period could set the precidence for the rest of your relationship...and that will be for many many years! Just ask her nicely to become more of a go to person when you need help, and then don't include her in things until the decision has been made.

I have the total opposite problem. My soon to be Mother-in-law doesn't want to help with anything unless she has a formal invite and when you ask her about something it has to be her way instead of a suggestion. Just take it one step at a time and like jaxter45 said don't let her over involvment ruin your wedding planning.

You do want you want to it is your wedding and shame on her for trying to control everything hang in there everything will work out

[quote=Beckyboo29;726]You do want you want to it is your wedding and shame on her for trying to control everything this is your day just hang in there and everything will be alright

i would kinda look at is as a way of building a realtionship with her, ask her to help you plan a little bit and give her your ideas on how you wasnt your wedding and see if she has any suggestions to go along with what you have in mind