Its probably to early for me to start thinking of this considering I haven't even been able to pick out my dress yet, (So many choices!!!) but with the idea of having an open bar for the wedding guest would it be completely inappropriate to ask every couple (each invitation holder) to bring a bottle of whatever they want?

Erik and I are going to pay for the wedding ourselves, and I want everything to be grand and perfect. I just don't think we can afford to feed everyone and on top of that supply drinks for everyone too. I thought this would be a little way that everyone could pitch in just a bit, and make their own little decision at the same time so that everyone is satisfied. Its not like everyone on the guest list has to bring a bottle - if our families drink that my alcohol in one night then I would be extremely worried.

Would it be rude to ask? Would any of you consider doing this?

Where are you having your reception? Is there already a bar or are you paying for someone to have the bar there and be the bartender?

We are inviting 240 people to the reception and we are having an open bar. We looked at a list of drinks and picked a few out that have common liquors and we are having a keg of beer. Here is the list that we chose:

Sex on the Beach (My favorite)
Fuzzy Navel
Screwdriver
Cape Cod
Amaretto & Soda (Hubby-to-be's Favorite)
Jack Daniels & Soda (Dad's Favorite)
Peach Schnaps & Soda
Amaretto Sour
Whisky Sour
Safe Sex on the beach

All of the drinks only have Vodka, Peach Schnaps, Amaretto, or Jack Danieals (rum). This limited the amount of liquor we had to buy (about $150), we also need the soda and juice. I am making a menu for at the bar that says "only drinks on the menu will be served!". I do not want people to get so drunk that they cant walk or waste what I worked hard to buy, as my bartender put it "It is not a drinkfest".

This might be another option rather than having everyone bring a bottle.

Have fun planning!

I talked with Erik after I posted this and he said we would definitely have an open bar. (His family is a bit more "high society" than mine is so they have come to expect open bars and such at social gatherings, where as my family will be the sort that worry about how much they are drinking because of the bill it will rack up for us.)

We were thinking that we would have the reception in the state park where we are having the ceremony. (Heavener Rune Stone state park, in Oklahoma) However, I was thinking about it trying to get to sleep and I am not so sure I want to have the reception outside at the end of June, even if it is in the late evening. It gets way to humid here, not to mention the mosquitos. Anyway, if we have the reception in the park then we will have to bring our own bar, and I figured we could have one of the waiters serve the drinks while they are at it with serving the food. If we have the reception else where, which I am thinking we will have to do, then I will keep an eye out for a bar that is ready available. We are going to have to make a day trip our to Heavener here shortly 1) to take a friend that has never been out there and 2) to get an idea of where everything is, look for a carter, solidify arangements for having the park after hours and such.

Thanks for the suggestion though! The drink list is another thing I can have Erik help with, which is great.

P.S. If you are only spending about $150 on drinks with 240 guests then we would be able to afford having everyone go home slobbering drunk! We are only inviting 30 guest so I guess it won't cost so much for the bar after all. (I thought 30 was going to be quite a lot of people to invite, though considering the park size the number is just right. How are you keeping from going crazy trying to organize that many people? I am taking the easy way and just sending "We did it" cards with our registry to distant family and friends.)

I would do the reception inside. Think of how hot you'll be in your dress, especially if you're dancing and drinking alcohol! I live in Florida so an outside reception was out of the question (I'm getting married in May). But the humidity and bugs are just not worth it. Everyone will be much more comfortable (and stay longer) if it's inside.

After reading your responce, I got to thinking. I know that where I live, in PA, it is against their policy to have alcohol (not saying that it is not done). Make sure you check this out if you do decide to have your reception there with an open bar.

P.S. About my 240 guests. That is the number that we invited. I am expecting only 175 to 200 to come since we are getting married on labor day weekend. And I have already went crazy about 4 months ago. I think within the next two week (we will have 3 weeks to go) I will be officially insane!

We were on a really tight budget for our wedding and we did a bunch of different things to keep the bar tab in check. We did not offer "top shelf" liquor (and we only had liquor available during the cocktail hour). Then we only served wine and beer during dinner. Our guests had a great time and I don't think it made any difference that it wasn't a totally open bar....


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Another idea is to only pay for a certain amount. The bartender keep track ~ and when that $ amount runs out, it turns into a cash bar. That's what my FH and I are doing. We're going to pay for the first $400 or $500 and when guests have used that all up, they then start paying for themselves. Hope this helps.

P.S. our guest list is about 65-75

I have been to several weddings where they do open bar during the first hour or two, then got to just wine, beer, and/or champagne. I think this is what we will be doing at our wedding. Both of our families and all of our friends like to drink A LOT so having a full out open bar would leave us broke.

I also like the idea about having a selection of drinks that only use a limited number of liquors. I would also look into where you are having your reception. A lot of places that already have a bar there will only allow you to order your alcohol through them, and usually it is A LOT more expensive that it would be if you went to a liquor store. Just keep that in mind too when you are looking into reception halls, ask what their policy is on alcohol. A friend of my mom's is paying for a wedding for her son and they are spending over $200 a half-barrel for beer! Because they have to order through the venue.

Since I responded to this post, we have had a change of plans. When I mentioned an open bar to the coordinators at our venue, they said that they have never seen anything good come out of it. People have a tendancy to waste soooo much. They'll order a drink, put it down after only a couple of sips, forget where they put and then go to order another one ~ racking that bill up quite high. Not to mention when it's open bar, people get wrecked. Instead they suggested to have a beer and wine station. My FH and I can decide on how much money we want to put twords it, and when that amount has been reached, the bar tender will back up and discretely go away ~ leaving the full stocked bar where guests can begin to order and pay for their own drinks.

I wouldnt consider asking them to bring their own bottles. I am also paying for everything myself with my fiance and we are on a tight budget as well and are hosting 175 guests. So what we are doing is paying for the cocktail hour and one hour @ the reception. Then the remainder of the night will be a cash bar. Hope this helps...